you know those days? Those days.
Ugh, they are the worst.
I feel like I have been having "one of those days" for a few weeks.
I can't pinpoint what causes this, or what I can do to help it... I just know...
I am having them.
Last week was a string of "those days". Each day had something worse than the day before it. Or it just sort of piled on top of it and just made for a worse day each day. Either way, it was a little miserable. I didn't have to go through any deaths or anything horrific, per say. It was just one thing after another.
This Monday was the build-up of that entire week. It was one of those days where you go to type and do some work and each letter you type is the wrong letter, and when you go back to try to fix it, you almost keep typing the same letter as before until you begin banging on each individual key on the keyboard as you type before you think about throwing your computer against the wall in your office and quit.
Monday was horrible. No doubt about it.
Yesterday wasn't too bad, but it wasn't too good either. I did enjoy time with a friend and that made yesterday turn out okay.
Today hasn't been particularly bad. But it hasn't been particularly great either.
It's pouring outside. I am blessed to be inside, in shelter, away from the blistering cold of the rain drops that are pouring themselves all over the place.
I have my heater on under my desk and I am content with that.
But then... then something comes in and tries to steal that "contentment" (if you can even call it that). Whether it's work piling up, or having an error you made out of ignorance in the issue sort of blow up in your face and leaving you feeling completely underqualified and as if you SHOULD just up and quit and leave and never come back.
That's where I'm at right now. I have decided to take a short break, and that is nice. But, I need to go out into the world. I need to take my dog out in that pouring rain. I need to move and be and DO. But, I don't want to.
I simply want to go home. I want to sit at home in the comfort of my sweatpants and my husband's sweatshirt I wear every day after work. I want to just sit and BE. But.. I can't.
and that? That sort of sucks.
But, I will try to remember: I am blessed. I have a job. I have a car. I have friends. I have a husband. I have a home. Maybe all of these things (other than my husband! haha) aren't exactly what I want.. but they are something that many don't have and would die for.
so, yes. I have been having those days piled upon more of those days.. but I am blessed.
Trying to soak that in.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
Aaron and I didn't get either house we had an offer on.
See, both were "short sales". I didn't know they were going into putting a offer on either of them, but alas.... they both were. Basically, I don't understand all of the details but, I know it takes FOREVER. We put in an offer on the first house and it took a month and a half to hear back from the bank (which owned the house). ugh. And the second house didn't take as long, but roughly 3 weeks to a month.
The suckiest part of it all is... I think deep down, I really thought ONE of them had to work out. I mean, come on. The odds had to be in our favor, right? How many houses have we put an offer in on and another buying outbid us, or an owner was a grotchety grouch and wouldn't go below asking price? WE HAD TO GET ONE OF THEM.
But, here I sit, telling you... we didn't get either of them.
I was pretty upset at first. I went to my realtor.com app on my phone and looked at house (like I do all day every day....) and I saw BOTH houses weren't considered "active" anymore. So... I got really anxious and sweaty and upset. Then, I had an AMAZING night's rest. It was the strangest thing.
Aaron talked to our realtor the next afternoon and I tried to prepare my heart and acknowledge God's blessing for us in allowing us to live at our current apartment for as long as we wanted for our dirt cheap price of rent... but, it didn't work. I was angry.
Then, Aaron told me our realtor didn't even KNOW someone else got the bid. That makes no sense to me... So I became angrier by the minute. I was angry at the other realtors who never told our realtor that we didn't get the bid. I was angry at myself for allowing my hopes to get up for the billionth time. I was angry at both of us that we didn't just pull our offers out in the first place to avoid the angst we now felt.
AND THEN... there are these other houses around here that are cute charmers and have great potential, so I stalk them like a crazy person for the last 3 days. Driving by them, looking at them endlessly on my app.. and then. I just felt like I needed to stop. I had to sit there and assess the situation. I HAD to talk to Aaron about it.
So, we came to a decision.... God provides for us ALWAYS. He is Jehovah Jireh. He gave a chance to live in our current apartment for longer. Whereas it isn't ideal... it's something. And, seriously... it means I can have HUGE, REAL Christmas trees at Christmas still. And, maybe walking up those stairs day in and day out will give me some much needed exercise for a little longer.
Also? I am totally going to be painting more in that place. Maybe that will help :)
Monday, April 8, 2013
This weekend was INSANE.
and by insane I mean....
Aaron and I, 18 teens, ALL NIGHT, no sleep, locked INSIDE, ALL NIGHT.
We had a youth overnight with our youth group that Aaron is the youth pastor of. WHEW! I tell you what, I am definitely feeling O L D. but, more on that later....
So, also on Friday, Aaron called the co-executor of our landlord's estate. He asked when they would be appraising Mr. Will's (our landlord who passed away) house because we knew they wanted us out by then... The CO-ex. said that they actually already had it appraised and that they already had someone put in an offer. A CASH OFFER. FOR $137,000. IN CASH. what the heck.
He also said that the people who put in the offer were okay with us being in our apartment and that they were in no rush to kick us out.
SWEET. This means we don't need to be out by the end of April.. BUT, in our minds, if they took over the house, it was "their rules" now and we are pretty sure they would charge WAAAYYY more than we are currently paying for rent.
so, that ISN'T so sweet, but still SWEEEEET.
Well..... yesterday, Aaron went to drop off the rent. On his way back he was stopped by our neighbors. By the way, our neighbors... sort of crazy? We have the Catholic church to our right, and these other crazies to our left. They have two CRAZY dogs that bark like crazy and.. it's just C R A Z Y. Anyhow, Aaron was stopped by them and they were asking how our house-hunting was going. Aaron responded with what has been going on... YADA YADA YADA.
All to say, OUR CRAZY NEIGHBORS ARE THE ONES WHO PUT THE CASH OFFER FOR THE FULL APPRAISAL OF OUR LANDLORD'S HOUSE.
what in the world.
also? They said we can stay as long as we need... forever even. Aaron asked how much they would charge for rent then... they said, NOTHING WOULD CHANGE. We would still be paying our price we pay now.
how awesome. SERIOUSLY. how AWESOME!!
so, if neither of the two houses we have offers on come through.... we have somewhere to stay.
and that, my friends, is how God answers prayer.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Good intentions. Seriously, I have them! I really do.
But, lesbihonest... if given the choice between a pizza and netflix night, and running.. I would choose the former.
also? When the choice of "my bed" is put up against... well, any other choice, I will always choose MY BED. We got a good thing going, people.
So... that's where all of my good intentions go. To bed, with me.. when I sleep, happy.
Basically, I am lacking motivation. I have a pinterest board that is supposed to be there to inspire me and give me really awesome workouts that will change my liiiifeeeeee..... but, I don't look at them. OR! I look at them while I am stuffing my face with chocolate.
Do any of you have any advice for me? I have great intentions to get up in the morning and DO something other than get ready for work, but.. alas, my bed always always ALWAYS wins.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
**above: Aaron and I got to go to this lovely church on Sunday instead of the usual church the in-laws go to. I LOVED IT! I craved the worship there like nothing other. It was amazing. They song the song above. AH! So good!!
Got this lovely idea from Miss Julie over at An Anchor for The Soul.
Enjoying: THE WEATHER :) It has been so lovely seeing the SUN out. Thing I have not been enjoying? I am sick.. have been since Friday (when I had a DAY off!!!)
Praying about: Hmm.. prayer. I have been praying a LOT about a LOT of things. Things for my closest friends, to our house situation, to my family and things of that sort. I have also REALLY been praying for God to transform my perspective and be with me all day long at work, guiding every step.
Snacking on: at this moment? A Sunbelt Bakery Oats & Honey granola bar, and coffee :)
Debating: I have been debating whether I should pack a lot more, or if I should just leave it until we HAVE to move. It's hard to decide when you don't even know where you will be going.
Reading: For months I have been reading Ellen's book, "Seriously... I'm kidding". I wish I had more time to read, or rather, that I made more time to read. I have also been debating weather I should start "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers again. OH SUCH A GREAT BOOK!
Grateful for: I am so grateful for a job! At first it was hard adjusting to a new job: all the newness of new coworkers, new responsibility, new people to work for... all of it. And I wasn't being too grateful the whole time while making the adjustment. But, as I sit here, I am beyond grateful for a job. In this day and age (at least around here) it's a great thing if you have a job! I am also grateful to God for all the help He has been giving me these past few months.
Thinking about: what it would be like to move to our OWN place :) AH! It would be bliss. Well... I know it would be tough at times, but it would be OURS.
Listening to: you guyssssss. I love me some JT. So, today I turned on my Justin Timberlake station on Pandora. So, technically, what I have been listening to is PANDORA. All day, every day. Gets me through my worrrrrk. I have also been listening to a good dose of "positive self-talk" in my head. Yeah, it's been good.
Watching: uh, what DON'T I watch? Oh yeah, Duck Dynasty. I have been watching: Grey's Anatomy on Netflix, The Walking Dead, Revenge (LURRVEEEE!!), I tried watching Catfish on MTV the other day because Michelle always raves about it on her bloggy blog. Well, I turned it on, and I sat there, watching.. thinking.. "This seems an AWFUL lot like The Real World."... I tweeted Michelle and lo and behold.. MTV had LIED to me. It was indeed THE REAL WORLD in San Diego or something. So, next time, Catfish, next time.
Feeling: I have been feeling pretty run down. Also? Sad. But also, also... I have been feeling like I want to go on vacation, or SOMETHING. I NEED THE SUN, PEOPLE. I need the beach, I need the relaxed lifestyle for a week. I NEED IT.
How about you?? :)