five thanks on thursday: november

Since November is the month of thanksgiving, I am going to continue on with my five thanks on thursday... here goes:


1) I am thankful for family. my family has had its string of tragedies, especially lately... and I just don't know what to do. some days I am so sick of them I could scream, leave and never come back. other days, I can't get enough of them, I can't pray for them enough or encourage them enough. today I am just super thankful for family as I am reminded of those who are without families. without support from BLOOD. without the love and grace given to them. there are children all over the world who have to grow up without their own flesh and blood... I feel for them. as sucky as family is, it really is true that you can't live without them.

2) I am thankful for friends. today I have been blessed by encouragement from friends I rarely get to talk to and some of my best friends. I am grateful that I am in a position at work where I have people come by (rarely, but they do!) and talk about life. I am grateful that one of my very best friends in the entire world works where I work and we can go to lunch together and just talk about our struggles and encourage each other. I am just so blessed. There was a time I never ever thought I would have friends or had friends.. and when I look back on those times, I can't help but fall back into that thought.. it's times like today where I am reminded I am not alone

3) this is going to sound stupid but.. I am thankful that I have access to the internet. Today I took it for granted for a short time and everything went wrong. I am just glad I have a way to connect with people through that avenue.

4) I am thankful that I am one step closer to making my dreams come true in regard to school. I have finished a big part of my application that just kept bringing me down.. I am waiting to re-read it and hopefully submit it tomorrow... I am so grateful and keep praying the God's hope is for me to do it too, which I really feel it is or else I wouldn't pursue it

5) I am grateful for my husband and his life. My aunt's fiance was stabbed last night as he was trying to protect a girl who was being chased by a thief.. this man saved her life. My aunt is in utter shock and hurt and so many feelings I cannot even describe. This just makes me look at my own life and the things I have and be so SO SO THANKFUL for them even MORE because it just shows how precious life is. Just hours before that he was talking to her... it's crazy to think that life is so short. I am thankful for my husband who loves me despite my horrible, terrible flaws and sins. I am thankful that he laughs at me even when I am probably not very funny. I am thankful that he is ALIVE and WELL and LOVES ME. I am just SO THANKFUL. I take him for granted almost daily... and I am trying to work on that. It's easy when you see that person all the time... but, don't forget, life is very short, even if we live to be 100.


What are you thankful for? :)

looking upon others will never feed our lives

Source: positive-inking.tumblr.com via Joanna on Pinterest

Seasons of life are ever changing.
And sometimes? Well, sometimes they can't change fast enough.

I struggle with a deep seeding thing called, ENVY. It's rough, you guys. Sometimes things are gooooood. I am content. I love life. I love my things. I am happy.

Other times? Well... other times, envy rears her head out and screams, "WHY CAN'T I HAVE THIS" "WHY CAN'T I DO THAT"... woe is me.

Sometimes I look around and find myself struggling. I find myself wondering what God had planned to put me in this exact moment... this exact spot. I struggle trying to figure things out.

Those times are also times I try to do things all on my own. I look around and think that IIIIIIIII can get myself there. IIIIIIII can figure these things out.

Well, yeah, I CAN. but, it probably won't come easy.

Those are the times I need to give it to God. Why do we act like that's a 'last resort'? "Well, I guess I will just haaaveee to pray about ittttttt."  That should never be a last resort. It should be the first thing we do.

My head often gets clouded with others. Their thoughts, opinions, lives, etc. I see someone else doing things I should/want to do and envy comes. I ask for advice in so many areas and my head/thoughts get clouded.

Don't get me wrong, it's awesome to seek out our friends and family for advice. In fact, I recommend it. But I also think sometimes we need to seek HIM before anything else. We need to get our minds right by talking to God before we talk to others. After all, He really knows best.

I remember a long time ago (like 6 years ago) hearing the idea that we can't look at someone else's faith journey and think, "how did THEY get there?" "What books did THEY read that helped them?" "That scripture worked to spur them on, I should use it too"

These things are meaningful and purposeful in THAT person's life. We can only focus on our own lives. Our own NOW. Our own journey. Often times we are just beginning and they have already started the race. Or vice versa. We should never assume those things will work for us.

We should challenge ourselves to not look to the blessings of others and compare them to our lives. People always think the grass is greener on the other side... but often times, it's because that person has been watering their side. They have been through struggles, and they are now at a point (a season) where they are accepting of their life or have moved on with God's help.

Life is just one big mystery.

this wasn't supposed to be this sort of post!

 

good morning :)

Today my lovely husband gets to sleep in and not work ALL DAY, while I am stuck at work. NO FUN. Too bad my work doesn't celebrate Columbus Day. 

Anywaaaayyyyy...

This weekend was a busy one for us. Actually, all of last week was as well. Time is going by faster and faster. There are not enough minutes in the day. It's starting to take it's toll.

Aaron has started his masters about a month ago in Business and it's surely keeping him very busy on top of being a youth pastor and working full-time at a bank. Poor guy...

I, on the other hand, am working full-time at my job, helping out with Fellowship of Christian Athletes, helping Aaron with youth group and trying to do everything else in between. 

Life is way too busy. 

On top of all of that we have various church/youth events, family things, and try to spend time together. MEANINGFUL time together.

It gets pretty hard. It also doesn't help that I love sleep entirely too much probably so often times I am dead asleep way before Aaron some nights. We also love our tv shows. From "Bones" to "How I Met Your Mother" and everything in between... we love it. We usually do that together because our brains seem too fried to do anything else. And with the changing seasons, I get extra cold and my ears get affected so we REALLY don't want to go outside more than we have to. 

It's life.

It may seem really lame or stupid to you that we do that so much together, but I must say... I agree with you. 

The Bible never really delves into what marriage should look like other than a husband must value his wife like Christ valued the church (that He would die for the church). and the wife must submit to the husband as the church submits to Christ. 

But, then what?

What does it even mean to have a "Godly relationship"? What does studying the Bible together look like? What if one person can't pay attention to the other when that person is reading thus rendering your Bible studying time together meaningless? How is a man to lead his family? What if he wasn't shown how to as a youth? How is a woman supposed to support her husband Biblically when she is really strong headed? How are they to get everything done in a day (i.e. laundry, dishes, dinner, together time, etc.)?

How? 

This isn't really the way this post was supposed to go, but I am going to go with it. Perhaps you all have some insight into this for us? 

Don't get me wrong, our marriage is great. Aaron is my ultimate best friend, my sweetheart, I adore him. And I KNOW beyond anything that he feels the same for me. 

I am basically coming at this from a non-christian unbringing and Aaron coming from a Christian home but not really being taught HOW to lead. It's not shameful to say it's an area where we struggle together as I am sure a lot of newly married (and even longer married) couples face. I am willing to admit where we fall short and where we need Christ to intervene. 

In the Lord's eyes, we are still babies to him. We have so much more to learn. Sometimes I am grateful for that but I also get upset not being able to have these answers for myself. Seasons come and seasons go... and so it is with our relationships with Christ. But, we long for so much more. 

May we never lose sight of that. 

:)

Being a Helpful Lady

heyyyyyyyyy!

So, today I am thinking a lot about the future. As well as thinking a lot about contentment and desiring God's Will for my life.

For as long as I can remember when someone asked me what I wanted to do when I got older I just knew one thing: I wanted to help people. I always love helping people in many different ways. Particularly I LOVE hearing about people's lives, their struggles, their passions and their dreams and achieving those dreams. I just LOVE IT! (okay, I get it.. I sound creepy.. oh well!)

I love going to other countries and serving the people there. I am a firm believer in showing people Christ and then telling them about Him. It is my firm belief that actions speak louder than words, and I like to live my life like that. So, my preferred way to evangelize (which basically means to tell people about Jesus Christ and God, etc.) is to show them Him by serving them, loving them, encouraging them, being there for them.  I have been to Mexico, the Bahamas, Grenada, Haiti and the Dominican Republic on mission trips. Each time we did serious work. Yes, we had some fun thrown in there, but work was the name of the game. I loved it. I love working so hard and still having to muster up enough energy to do "Cinderella dressed in yella" on the jump rope for 3 ours. I love not caring what we look like as we work. I love seeing these people light up when you do something for them and them asking "why" you did it. LOVE. IT.

I also am weirdly fascinated with discussing careers with people. Like, I love knowing what people want to achieve with their life, what job they truly want to do, etc. I also really like high school to college age people. Well, anyone is GREAT, but I am just more "interested" (not sure if that's the right term... hmm) in those ages. When I was in college and went to Univ. of Toledo I led a bible study for a bunch of gals involved in Campus Crusade for Christ. I absolutely loved it. My best friend from Toledo and I headed it up and really wanted to develop amazing relationships with these girls, and boy did we! I love it. It will always be one of my fondest moments of my life. Along with this, was discussing life with these girls. I loved learning about them and from them. When I transferred schools, it was a bit different, a little harder to make friends like that, but I definitely did. A topic of discussion with most any of my friends usually includes life and our futures. I even love helping strategize with them how to make their dreams happen, etc.

I really like the idea of working in a school one day. The scheduling of classes and encouraging kids to go to college... i love it all. (I am so weird.)  But, I also want to be able to make a difference in their learning experience. I think working in School Social Work would be great because I would be able to assist in breaking down the barriers for students to learn...

I think it would be great to work at a homeless shelter. In college, I did my practicum at a women's shelter. I liked it, but I also learned ways not to run something. It was a good experience all in all... I loved the experience because I really felt like it was something I could do (at the right center/shelter) and I would feel like I was a making a difference. Along with that, even working for a non-profit organization that maybe travels to disaster areas would be a great job. I think I would like to assist in helping them rebuild, or helping them in a way of counseling, just someone for them to talk to.

Another time when I was in college I went to a church my roommate went to. Her mom actually invited me. It was a sort of "recovery group" that the church offered. A place for them to connect with others going through their similar situations and to connect to Christ as well. My friend's mom asked me to speak at one of the meetings. I had a rough upbringing when I was younger filled with drugs and alcohol and abuse in my life, so it seemed like something I really wanted to express to them: how a child felt in the midst of all of that. I loved being able to speak to them and it helped me a lot as well. I loved being able to connect with them...


at the end of the day, I just want to make a difference. I want to come alive. I want others to come alive from talking with me or from me helping them. And most importantly, I want to show them Christ. 

In my current job, I don't feel like I have much of a chance to do that stuff. I am wildly blessed to have this job, but it just kills me to know that this passion is deep down inside me and all I really do is do things for people and pay bills, etc. Maybe that sounds like help, but it really doesn't feel like it sometimes. I crave the idea of going on in the community and assisting people.


I think I just wrote that all out as a way to say, "hey, if any of you know of a great career, or degree I could do that would allow me to do that stuff, let me know!", or to be able to just hash it out in writing. I have so many interests, but they all come down to one thing: I want to help people. I have a personality that requires me to feel like I am impacting someone's life or I feel as though I have no real worth, or meaning. And I fully believe that the Lord also gifted me with this, a heart and a love for people at an early age.

Seeking God's Will and being content are pretty hard, and I am truly trying to do it. But, trust me when I say.... I don't think I can do it without Him.