FRIDAY'S LETTERS

Dear migraine: nobody invited you to join me last night and today. so, maybe you should leave?

Dear little debbie brownie: I WILL buy you today, and I will have NO shame eating you. 

Dear twitter: I think I am starting to enjoy using you. I don't even care if nobody follows me, which you may not WANT to even follow me because sometimes I am way too sarcastic for my own good.. but I love it.

Dear husband: you are a gem. I don't know how you have managed to be married to me for over a year, but you are amazing. ah! I could go on forever....

Dear pumpkin: thanks for the snuggles today and yesterday on my sick day

Dear work: you are breezin' on by, and I LOVE it. Thank you!

Dear people banging things around next door: STOP. now.

Dear weekend: I am beyond glad you are here. ready to do NOTHING all weekend. YES!

Dear library books and all my other books: I have been neglecting you, I am sorry :(

Dear all of you: have a lovely weekend :) :) 

where did the week go?

So.. anyone know where last week went? 

To be honest, I don't remember much about that. I hate that. Sometimes my brain gets pretty foggy, especially when I seem to be working a lot harder at work because the work keeps piling on, or when I have a lot of things going on in the evenings, blah blah blah.

So, I won't bore you anymore with the details I don't remember. I DO know that both Aaron and I took Friday and Monday (today) off to spend some time away from town and celebrate Aaron's 24th birthday! Speaking of which, my husby is 24 TODAY! :) 

On Friday we had a LOT of errands to run: I cleaned out my car (first time in about a year!), the air conditioner guy came by the house to check on it, Aaron had a dentist appointment, I had a trim, I got some new tires on my car and we grabbed some lunch! Whew! Sounds like a ton just thinking about it... 

Well, after all of that, I took Aaron to Columbus for the weekend. We stayed at The Westin in Columbus because I got a sweet deal on Hotwire. We walked around downtown, enjoyed the lovely weather, worked off the huge amounts of food we ate, and caught up on some tv. I took him shopping to pick out his perfect gift at Easton. He chose a watch and we also got him some shoes and such for work which he desperately needed. Altogether, we just spent time hanging out and not worrying about having to work on Monday (we always dread Monday coming, but not today!) I made Aaron breakfast in bed to celebrate his birthday this morning and we have just been playing it pretty low key all day.

Seriously..

I cannot complain about life right now. 

Some other things that have been going on: 

+I for the life of me cannot get on a system of doing laundry, dishes, etc. I think someone should've just handed me a manual when I got married. I would've followed that. But, I cannot just seem to "fit it in" during my days.. I can't even fathom what life will be like with kids. wow.

+ Aaron and I are really trying to commit to eating better. We have been slowly doing so, but now, we have taken the plunge. Besides the occasional chocolate I will eat with my strawberries, weaning myself from mountain dew, and such.. we will be eating more healthy, homecooked meals. I have really been trying to be aware of the ingredients going into my food for probably 6 months at least. We try to eat very simple meals, adding spices etc. here and there... but for the main part, not really buying much processed foods (besides cheese.. I seriously CANNOT cut out the cheese! but I know my tummy hates me for it.. )  I have also noticed that I have always had some sort of a chronic stomach "ache" or hurting. More recently (probably 8 months or so) I have had pain in my hips, knees, ankles, wrists, basically any joints on my body. My back has begun to hurt a lot, and my brain seems to be in a fog a lot.. so, a change in diet is in order!! Eating healthy can never hurt and I am so grateful to have a husband who is willing to do this with me! (more on this in later posts)

 photos: 1//snuggling, 2//she won't get out of the grass, 3//i am an addict, and i am trying to quit, 4//mmm cereal that i am trying to not eat anymore because of the gluten, 5//wendyyyyyyy's, 6//aaron made me breakfast in bed, just because, 7//coral nailpolish. love, 8//clean, healthy fridge, 9//best snack

and... that's about it. honestly. I don't do much aside from work and random things around the house. Sometimes I get a chance to see a lovely friend or two or my family, but not too much going on... Hoping to be less foggy to actually update this :) Tonight and tomorrow night Aaron and I are going to a first-time home buyer's class. Hopefully we learn a lot and we are praying God will provide the perfect first home for us. 

Have a lovely rest of your Monday :)

 

friday's letters

instagram photo of my outfit in the bathroom, of course.

Dear Friday: thank you for coming. I can honestly say I wasn't sure you would. I just wish you would have let me sleep in and not have been a work day.

Dear Husband: you are the SWEETEST man in the entire world. thank you for putting up with my insanity, with my quirks and for just being you. I am excited for your birthday coming up :) :)

Dear work: please be kind to me today.. oh, and go by really fast!!

Dear little garden we planted:  I HOPE YOU GROW TO BE THE BIGGEST GARDEN IN THE WORLD!!!! well, not really THAT big, but big enough ;)

Dear instagram: you are great for capturing life. though, you also make me extremely lazy and not really care to delete images from my REAL camera and actually use it. 

Dear chocolate: uhm. you have my heart. for REAL.

Dear YouVersion Bible App: I am glad are becoming better friends.. your devo "Soul Detox" is just what the Doctor ordered :)

Dear readers: I am just so ecstatic that someone OTHER than me read this, so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for stopping by and reading the silly things I have to say or think about life.

Dear self: believe in yourself.

Have a lovely weekend everyone :) My husband and I will be working at an entire city yard sale tomorrow for our church to raise money for our youth group. Wish us luck :( haha

come right out and say it

I just do not know what has been going on this week... I just can't seem to get a grip on things.
My emotions just go from one extreme to the other (and NO, it's not that "time")... my thoughts are holding ME captive, my heart is hurting, my wishes, and hopes and dreams seem to be on standby. I just don't know what's going on...

A friend of mine (seriously, go check her blog out... she is amazing) recently posted on her blog about an app she downloaded on her phone called YouVersion. I have been using that app on my phone for some time, but just seem to have forgotten it's on there or something? Well, anyways.. she mentioned a devotional that she started on it called "Soul Detox".

Then, yesterday, I am just goofing around mindlessly surfing the internet and there it was. A blog specifically there to encourage other believing women of God. Their main thing they have been using? SOUL DETOX on the YouVersion app.  WHATT?

so, I knew... I just knew I had to start it.

and so I did.. and I love it. It doesn't have much of a lengthy text for you to muster through before you get to the nitty gritty: the Bible verses. I didn't look too much into it as I chose a poor time to try to read it... so, that sucks.

but, this morning... something just really stirred my heart and made me really sad for some reason I will never know. something that shouldn't bother me. but... it did. and after that moment it seemed like everything this morning bothered me. taking my adorable dog outside, hearing Aaron singing along to music, Aaron being happy and humming and whistling all morning, and honestly... the list goes on and ON of things that annoyed me about AARON.... and then, it hit me.

I was taking a shower and it came... JOANNA, STOP SUCKING SO BAD! STOP LETTING THOUGHTS TAKE OVER YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Thing happen. People do things. People say things that are hurtful... YOU do things that suck a lot... but it shouldn't take over your entire MIND!...

I couldn't shake it. So... I KNEW I needed to read this devotional today. Something inside of me had to read it.

Here's a bit of what it revealed to me and in me:

Day 2

+To battle against your toxic thoughts, you MUST identify and REJECT them.

+It is not a physical battle, but rather a spiritual batter that requires God's HELP in fighting

+What are some causes of toxic thoughts in your life?

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:1-6  &   Ephesians 6:10-20

From 2 Corinthians 10:1-6 I pick out these verses:

2 Corinthians 10:3 -- For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does

2 Corinthians 10:5 -- We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Did you catch that?? "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ"..... wow. What does that even mean? How do I do that? Sometimes I feel like I know God, but I realize, I just know stuff ABOUT God... this says so itself, "we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God".... that means, I better KNOW God.. so I can discern or judge what isn't OF God.

From Ephesians 6:10-20 I picked out these verses:

Ephesians 6:11 -- Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

Ephesians 6:18 -- And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

 This was just what I needed this morning. Did those things I thought about stop hurting or waging war against my mind and life? No.  But, that's ok... instead, I am guarded with these verses I read this morning. I can't shake them if I wanted to..  He is just that good.

today.

I am a really attractive person, obviously.

uh. ever had those days where you show up to work, mounds of receipts, bills, miscellaneous JUNK unleashed on your desk and everywhere? where you are asked to do ridiculous things? where you take advil migraine relief within 30 minutes of being there? 

yeeaahhh... that's today. just wanted to get this out while I am taking a little break, but, WHEW.... I just want to go home and curl up in my bed.

later will be filled with making dinner, attempting to tackle the mess that IS my apartment, attempting to convince myself that running and working out is a good idea, working on some espanol for rosetta stone, and Aaron and I planting our garden..

speaking of which, anyone have any gardening tricks or secrets? Our plot is 10' X 15' which to us is HUGE. we hope to plant a tomato plant or two, maybe strawberry plant or two, green beans, peppers, lettuce, not sure what else... 

hopefully later I will have some pictures of our weekend to post up and something a little more optimistic :) until then, keep it classy blogosphere.

What a weekend!

I don't know about you, but my weekend was jam packed (of fun, of course!) But, nevertheless, it was PACKED!

My baby sister graduated from high school. It is hard to believe all three of my sisters' are out in the real world (well, sort of) now! I can't imagine how I will be when one of them gets married... yikes. But, then again, it is hard for me to even believe I am how old I am and married, and have a grown up job, and making grown up decisions. If I actually sit and think about it my brain could explode, so I won't :)

Some other things we did:

+had Toni's graduation party and some AWESOME food

+Saw Toni graduate

+Aaron and I went to Slate Run and hiked some in the 683498% humidty (fun)

+Aaron and I painted our living room (I am SORE from it??)

+Hung out with my sister, Jessica some

+Almost died from the heat.

I will leave you with some pictures of my weekend as to not bore you with too many words that I so easily throw out here on the internetz. 

Hope you had an amazing weekend as well :)

Weekend Recouping: Camping w/ Youth 2012

Whew! Last weekend was so fun, but wore me out!!

Husband and I took the youth group on a camping trip! It was so fun and the youth really loved it. 

Aaron and I had Friday off so we were able to get some organizing together. We cleaned our sleeping bags, bought the supplies, etc. We were so excited! 

On Saturday we got to the farm earlier to set things up and I was taken back at how BEAUTIFUL it was there!! I have always been captivated by nature and how God created it. So, I really enjoyed views like this:

When we had things set up, food put away and psyched up... we headed down the road to the church to pick up the kids! It was about a 20 minute drive on the most beautiful Saturday this year. I wish I had pictures of it.. but, I kind of can't drive AND take pictures especially on hilly, curvy roads!

We picked them all up, and one of the youth made the rule, "no technology allowed!!" So, that was awesome! Usually at youth group or Bible study we have to hound them to get off their phones and ipods, so that was really refreshing to see!!

We packed up and left for the farm! When we got there, they had to set up their tents and everything... but once that was done, they definitely jumped right in... literally:

They then got out, played some ball:

 

Aaron and I as well as one of our youth, Andrea, played a game Aaron and I both learned at camp called "Mao". One rule... you DON'T discuss the rules of Mao. haha 

 

And we ate some food!!!!

Once it got dark enough, we played some hide 'n go seek in the dark.. uhm, let's just say, I cannot be the seeker when it is so dark out!

The next day we woke up pretty tired and prepared ourselves for the sermon one of our YOUTH was going to give by eating this:

 

Next, we sang some worship songs, prayed, and Andrea gave the sermon! She spoke so passionately about how Satan is out to get us and if we don't keep our guard up and follow God, we will easily be distracted. She was awesome!!

Once the sermon was over, we all split up to spend some alone time with God. aaaanndd... after that, they were back at the swimming, fishing, everything!

We had a great weekend! What did YOU do this weekend??

reflecting on mother's day

Just know, this is a lot of rambling.. but I don't care.. it's for me.

I didn't grow up in your traditional "one mom, one dad" little family. I did have a mother (I mean, obviously.. I am here, alive, breathing, so I have a "mother") and I do have a "dad" somewhere out there. But, I use these terms very loosely. I have always felt these names should be earned. I know that a mom is a mom when she first conceives her child... but at the same time, I don't feel a mother deserves the right to be called a mom until she is a mother to her child in more ways that simply giving birth.... but, maybe I have some sort of a twisted mindset or something.

Mother's Day always goes by without me even thinking a second thought about it usually. For years I didn't care to acknowledge my mother for various reasons. I didn't think she deserved the title or the love and respect that it brings with it. I still sometimes feel this way. And yet, something in my heart yearns for her to know real love. For her to know Him with an unwavering love and know the He loves her back. So, I love her. I show her love in small ways, though it kills me sometimes. For so long I hated her... I hated her for the years of various abuses she put us through... for the neglect we felt.. for the hurt we felt in our hearts. But now.. I just feel for her. I see the years of these things taking it's toll on her. I see the hate and detest she has for herself and can't help but want to express how much He loves her.

The mother I know is my grandma. She is the closest thing to a real mother I will ever know... so on Mother's Day I celebrate her. And yet, I still don't do a good job at it... it's so hard for me to know how to relate to her as a "mother" in a way because I don't really see how a mother should be in my own life. I see my other family experience that, but until you experience it yourself, you won't know how to have that in your own life.. you won't know how to love someone as a mother. And yet, sometimes I see the way I talk with my grandma, etc. and I can see that I do view her as my mom because I talk to her snotty sometimes, and I feel regret for it and guilt for not treating her better just as a daughter does with her own mother sometimes....

I now have a new mother, my mother-in-law.. and even that is hard for me to understand. I don't know how to relate to her as a mother/daughter because the only experience I have of that is so different than what she is used to... I love her to death, and yet, it still has it's awkward moments as I don't know how to express myself in that way yet.. I don't know how to blend and fit in in that manner as all others do in the family..

so, I sit. I sit and ponder the meaning of a "mother" and the meaning of Mother's Day and how to relate and how I will be as a mother....

and... I am scared to death of that. Because I don't know how that relationship works per say, I fear I won't know how to be a mom in that way... and yet, I don't fear it. I see others screwing up their relationships with their daughters by leaving their families, or what have you... and I just know. I know how a mother is supposed to be, and how a daughter can be... and I know that is wrong how they are treating their families and daughters and children as a mother.. I know.

God is so great and insane in the way He just puts stuff inside of us.. these innate manners and thoughts and feelings. We just... know.

and, hey... they say knowing is half the battle :)