those days.. a rambling of sorts.

you know those days? Those days.

Ugh, they are the worst.
I feel like I have been having "one of those days" for a few weeks.
I can't pinpoint what causes this, or what I can do to help it... I just know...
I am having them.

Last week was a string of  "those days". Each day had something worse than the day before it. Or it just sort of piled on top of it and just made for a worse day each day. Either way, it was a little miserable. I didn't have to go through any deaths or anything horrific, per say. It was just one thing after another.

This Monday was the build-up of that entire week. It was one of those days where you go to type and do some work and each letter you type is the wrong letter, and when you go back to try to fix it, you almost keep typing the same letter as before until you begin banging on each individual key on the keyboard as you type before you think about throwing your computer against the wall in your office and quit.

Monday was horrible. No doubt about it.

Yesterday wasn't too bad, but it wasn't too good either. I did enjoy time with a friend and that made yesterday turn out okay.

Today hasn't been particularly bad. But it hasn't been particularly great either.
It's pouring outside. I am blessed to be inside, in shelter, away from the blistering cold of the rain drops that are pouring themselves all over the place.
I have my heater on under my desk and I am content with that.

But then... then something comes in and tries to steal that "contentment" (if you can even call it that). Whether it's work piling up, or having an error you made out of ignorance in the issue sort of blow up in your face and leaving you feeling completely underqualified and as if you SHOULD just up and quit and leave and never come back.

That's where I'm at right now. I have decided to take a short break, and that is nice. But, I need to go out into the world. I need to take my dog out in that pouring rain. I need to move and be and DO. But, I don't want to.

I simply want to go home. I want to sit at home in the comfort of my sweatpants and my husband's sweatshirt I wear every day after work. I want to just sit and BE. But.. I can't. 


and that? That sort of sucks.

But, I will try to remember: I am blessed. I have a job. I have a car. I have friends. I have a husband. I have a home. Maybe all of these things (other than my husband! haha) aren't exactly what I want.. but they are something that many don't have and would die for.

so, yes. I have been having those days piled upon more of those days.. but I am blessed.

Trying to soak that in.

too many thoughts but not enough to go on.

last saturday morning. lovely morning hair. had to share!

Thoughts today have included:

+ I must be grateful for the things in my life right now. If I can't be thankful for the little things, then how can I be thankful for the big things?

+ I am pretty glad I have the boss I have. He is letting me go home early today. How. Awesome.

+ I should probably buy some groceries. Oh well... it can wait until tomorrow.

+ HOLY COW. Tomorrow is Friday. WOO!!

+ Speaking of Friday, I will get to see my long lost friend tomorrow :) YAY!

+ It's pretty hot in my office right now. What happened to the lovely temps we were having?!

+ School counseling sounds amazing. Summers off? what!?

+ Should Aaron and I buy a house? Should we buy this house we ADORE!? Or, should we buy a house we can fix up!? OR should we just put all our money to our student loans and never have a house? :/

+ I need my hair trimmed and thinned out. Lookin' like a hot. mess. these days!

+ I am hungry. How did we not have ANY pasta in the house today!?

+ We need to exercise more, like, FOR REAL.

+ UGH. these stupid wisdom teeth. I wish they fell out like our baby teeth did. Though, that freaked me out when that happened!  Any one else?

+Social media and I are back and forth.

+ I have been wanting to change the name of this blog for a while. I think you all will hate the name, but... there are like tonssss of blogs called FROM THE INSIDE OUT.. which sucks.

+ I am far too addicted to mountain dew.. or candy.. and ice cream.. hence, the working out is NEEDED.

+ I AM READY FOR FALL

+ Watching HGTV today and being completely disgusted and people complaining about perfectly beautiful homes.

+ I am a horrible person and need to work on that.

Thus concludes the randoms of today! :)

Being a Helpful Lady

heyyyyyyyyy!

So, today I am thinking a lot about the future. As well as thinking a lot about contentment and desiring God's Will for my life.

For as long as I can remember when someone asked me what I wanted to do when I got older I just knew one thing: I wanted to help people. I always love helping people in many different ways. Particularly I LOVE hearing about people's lives, their struggles, their passions and their dreams and achieving those dreams. I just LOVE IT! (okay, I get it.. I sound creepy.. oh well!)

I love going to other countries and serving the people there. I am a firm believer in showing people Christ and then telling them about Him. It is my firm belief that actions speak louder than words, and I like to live my life like that. So, my preferred way to evangelize (which basically means to tell people about Jesus Christ and God, etc.) is to show them Him by serving them, loving them, encouraging them, being there for them.  I have been to Mexico, the Bahamas, Grenada, Haiti and the Dominican Republic on mission trips. Each time we did serious work. Yes, we had some fun thrown in there, but work was the name of the game. I loved it. I love working so hard and still having to muster up enough energy to do "Cinderella dressed in yella" on the jump rope for 3 ours. I love not caring what we look like as we work. I love seeing these people light up when you do something for them and them asking "why" you did it. LOVE. IT.

I also am weirdly fascinated with discussing careers with people. Like, I love knowing what people want to achieve with their life, what job they truly want to do, etc. I also really like high school to college age people. Well, anyone is GREAT, but I am just more "interested" (not sure if that's the right term... hmm) in those ages. When I was in college and went to Univ. of Toledo I led a bible study for a bunch of gals involved in Campus Crusade for Christ. I absolutely loved it. My best friend from Toledo and I headed it up and really wanted to develop amazing relationships with these girls, and boy did we! I love it. It will always be one of my fondest moments of my life. Along with this, was discussing life with these girls. I loved learning about them and from them. When I transferred schools, it was a bit different, a little harder to make friends like that, but I definitely did. A topic of discussion with most any of my friends usually includes life and our futures. I even love helping strategize with them how to make their dreams happen, etc.

I really like the idea of working in a school one day. The scheduling of classes and encouraging kids to go to college... i love it all. (I am so weird.)  But, I also want to be able to make a difference in their learning experience. I think working in School Social Work would be great because I would be able to assist in breaking down the barriers for students to learn...

I think it would be great to work at a homeless shelter. In college, I did my practicum at a women's shelter. I liked it, but I also learned ways not to run something. It was a good experience all in all... I loved the experience because I really felt like it was something I could do (at the right center/shelter) and I would feel like I was a making a difference. Along with that, even working for a non-profit organization that maybe travels to disaster areas would be a great job. I think I would like to assist in helping them rebuild, or helping them in a way of counseling, just someone for them to talk to.

Another time when I was in college I went to a church my roommate went to. Her mom actually invited me. It was a sort of "recovery group" that the church offered. A place for them to connect with others going through their similar situations and to connect to Christ as well. My friend's mom asked me to speak at one of the meetings. I had a rough upbringing when I was younger filled with drugs and alcohol and abuse in my life, so it seemed like something I really wanted to express to them: how a child felt in the midst of all of that. I loved being able to speak to them and it helped me a lot as well. I loved being able to connect with them...


at the end of the day, I just want to make a difference. I want to come alive. I want others to come alive from talking with me or from me helping them. And most importantly, I want to show them Christ. 

In my current job, I don't feel like I have much of a chance to do that stuff. I am wildly blessed to have this job, but it just kills me to know that this passion is deep down inside me and all I really do is do things for people and pay bills, etc. Maybe that sounds like help, but it really doesn't feel like it sometimes. I crave the idea of going on in the community and assisting people.


I think I just wrote that all out as a way to say, "hey, if any of you know of a great career, or degree I could do that would allow me to do that stuff, let me know!", or to be able to just hash it out in writing. I have so many interests, but they all come down to one thing: I want to help people. I have a personality that requires me to feel like I am impacting someone's life or I feel as though I have no real worth, or meaning. And I fully believe that the Lord also gifted me with this, a heart and a love for people at an early age.

Seeking God's Will and being content are pretty hard, and I am truly trying to do it. But, trust me when I say.... I don't think I can do it without Him.

i think i am a zombie

 

Source: behance.net via Megan on Pinterest

oh, I stole this from someone else's pinterest. sue me. 
 

Sometimes I meander through life all willy nilly and I don't really remember much about my days.
Actually, I feel like that always happens, at least in this last year or so of my life. I am convinced I am a zombie.

Further evidence of this is how I am in the mornings. I just mumble and moan as I walk around the house. I wake up all slow-like, shuffle around the house, have atrocious breathe, etc.

I AM A ZOMBIE.
It's good Aaron likes me so much...


moving on

So, the Olympics? How about them?!
I haven't been watching them like, at all. Ok, I lie. I watched some indoor men's volleyball yesterday during my lunch. Then, I got home and it was sand volleyball.

I think the USA men's teams only played volleyball yesterday... So, I watched Pretty Little Liars on Netflix instead.

If I don't really watch the Olympics, does this make me less of an American? I sure hope not. But, in case it does, I will try to watch more, you guys.

Those of you who have been watching, is swimming and/or gymnastics only showing on NBC like after 9pm? Because, people, let's face it. I am not staying up that late. I go to bed real early-like because... I am an old lady.

I am an old lady zombie. Quite the combo ;) Poor Aaron!

Oh, also? I suck at committing to things. I got these books from the library a few weeks ago and I was so excited to read them. And now? Nah... I would rather sleep.. or play with my dog.

Yeah, that sounds infinitely better.

I NEED TO READ MORE!

Oh, and also also.... every time I hit 'enter' on my keyboard, it keeps putting this post in italics. Is this something I can fix?

See? AHDKFHJSDHGJSDFHGJB. 

I  don't know how to fix this. ARRRRRRGGGGGG.

Ok, well.. enough rambling for today. I have some work to do, and by work, I mean, I have to type up some stuff I have been holding on to for.. oh, THREE months, and haven't typed up yet. WHOOPS!

But, if everyone else can just skip around not doing their work around here, and I use 'everyone' loosely, really it's just like 5-7 people!, but still. I think I should be able to. I AM BUSY!

Stupid italics happened again because I just hit 'enter".

buhhhhhh. see?? ok, have a good day!

FRIDAY'S LETTERS

1//peach tea @ OG, 2//waiting for work week to end, 3//fav. spot, 4// beauty

Dear Friday: I just love you. 

Dear VACATION: I AM SO EXCITED FOR US TO BE TOGETHER TOMORROW!

Dear Husband: yes. this trip has finally come

Dear garden: I hope you get tended to while we are gone on vacation and that you don't DIE

1//gardening, 2// family photo, 3//green beans, 4//tomatoes

 Dear work: you really stunk this week. some parts have been grand, but a lot hasn't. preparing for vacation almost makes you not want to take one... but, that is a HUGE almost.

1//bills on monday, 2//boxes, 3//helping, 4//love this book

Dear dryer: PRAISE THE GOOD LORD YOU ARE WORKING AGAIN! I will die if you stop working again this summer. just. die.

Dear grandma: thank you for offering to have us over for a lovely pre-anniversary dinner tonight and for taking care of our baby while we are gone. WE LOVE YOU.

Dear Husband: in 3 days we will have been married for 1 year. WHAT!

1//cupcake at wedding, 2//wedding wear, 3//happy for weekend, 4//it was HOT

1//husband, 2//me, 3//storm coming, 3//pretty sky

Dear followers: I am sorry I have been MIA from this here blog for a while.. I hope to maybe (HUGE MAYBE) have some pre-scheduled posts for while I am gone. Leave me some love why dontcha? :) I am so grateful for each of you and your comments!

Dear future house: are you out there?! can we buy you yet?!? Show yourself.

1//cute house, 2//lovely sky, 3//hanging out, 4//husband stealing my heart with watermelon

Dear car: please last on our vacation. Last time we road-tripped we ended up buying YOU because our other car pooped out. please don't die on us!

Dear Pumpkin: I am going to miss you so much. stop it. I am going to cry.

Dear YOU: have a great weekend :)

 Now, go link up with Ashley by clicking below!

 

I had a clever post, then I got tired...

1: treats husband surprised me with, 2: friday's outfit with husband's watch, 3: pumpkin naps, 4: storm coming

1: waiting out the "hurricane"in our car, 2: storm clouds, 3: pretty pic of storm, 4:storm following me

1: selfie, 2: leggings are amazing. I don't know why I have resisted, 3: FROYO, 4:dying in the heat, whew!

Hey there :)
I had a semi-long post to share and I thought.... it's Monday, let's save that for another day. Plus, I have had a really long day and I just want to relax a little while with my pup and husband and read a little. So, I deleted it and now I am drawing a blank... nice.

This weekend was BUSY! We had a crazy hurricane in Ohio, took the youth group to SpiritSong at Kings Island, I rode a rollercoaster (WHATT!!!), ate froyo, went to church, had youth group, went to our evening service, and much more... see, busy.

I hope you all had great weekends... tell me about them! What did you do? anything fun?

small victory!

I have had my current job for nearly a year. All the while.. I have been sitting in the most horrible chair. I am talking, back causing pain HORRIBLE chair. 

Below, you will find such a horrible chair: 

horrible chair

I waited to even discuss getting a different chair for..ever... I didn't want to waste money, blah blahhhh. All the other assistants who had my job previously never needed a different chair... so why did I? I couldn't justify it...

Well, I guess I finally had it out with the chair. The thing had no sturdy back to it. You could see from the picture the bar.. well, the set can "recline" back. To some, this would be lovely. Not to me. MY back needs something sturdy!!

So, I GOT A NEW CHAIR! I know nobody else cares about this. But, I need to document this day. 

Behold, here she is in all her glory:

most amazing chair

To be honest, anything would have been better. Should've probably gone modern and just got a medicine ball like Dwight in the office. 

Here are the before and after shots of the chairs at the desk. 

I am one happy camper currently. Though, my back is having to do some adjusting... it's happy adjusting :)

Have a great Friday!

TIDS + BITS

Hello there!

Whew, this week has had it's fill of STUFF. And yet, we haven't been up to too much... that's unfortunate. 

 (photos do not follow order of tids below... sorry!)

+Grateful for the Lord working in my life, even when I don't see it or feel it or know it or believe it.... He is.

+Currently we are recouping from having our 4 day weekend... It's always hard to go back to work. But, it was a plus having Monday off :) I am pleasantly surprised when I look at the day and it's a day later than I thought!

+Oh. I cut my bangs. Yeah. By myself... nice. I usually do this, but not really this short... It always helps when I trim them up a bit, and I don't think I have ever really done too bad of a job, but this time...  don't know how I like them. Aaron says he likes them, so that's good since he sees me more than anyone else. 

+Trying to eat better. It really isn't going too badly! I have tons of junk food cravings and I still drink soda of course... but I am trying, I promise!!

+Aaron and I started our first-time homebuyer's classes.. well, we only had one. We were late to it. Aaron was about 75% sure it started at 6:30... it started at 6:00p. But, it was his birthday, so I sided with him and we just cut the difference so in case we were late, we were only 15 minutes late. Talk about embarrassing... plus, it doesn't help that we look like we are, what? 16 years old walking into this class with all these older people. Fun stuff. Our second class was canceled, hoping that it is rescheduled soon. 

+On Pinterest I found a workout that Carrie Underwood supposedly does for her leg workout. I thought, "well, she has pretty great legs... I will do this!!!!" yeah. about that..... it's a pretty simple set of like 5 exercises but I tell you what, it is 2 days later and my but and thighs are killing me. Like, I-got-punched-in-the-muscle-this-really-hurts killing me. So, I'd say it's a pretty good little go-to work out. 

+We leave for vacation in something like 20ish days. YES. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE BEACH.

+Glad the sun is out and has been out. Not glad the relative humidity is something like 928349384%

+I love watermelon. And it's so good for you. YES!

comparing

sometimes I run out of things to write about because sometimes my brain just doesn't want to work. I think, "what is something I thought about today or wanted to share?" and... n o t h i n g.

well, that's just pathetic.

so, here's something. Just now I was perusing some bloggy goodness on a few blogs I fancy and I started looking at these gorgeous gals and began COMPARING myself to them. Why don't I live somewhere awesome? Why doesn't my apartment look that cute? I wonder if I could pull that outfit/haircut/lipstick blaaahhh off?

wow. I sound pathetic, don't I? But, let's be real. We all do it. Even guys, though, I am doubting any guy is reading my blog right now. Heck, I even get surprised I have some follows over on my sidebar! (there I go... comparing, belittling, etc.)

A while back I mentioned a devotional I was working on. Well, yet again, another example of sucking and not comparing well to others. I used to be able to spend the undivided time with God and reading His Word and just really trying to relish in Him and the things He has done for me.... but now? Now, I can't even seem to muster up time with Him at the end of my day. My leftovers for the day aren't even good enough left overs. They are more just like... poop. And sometimes, I don't even offer Him that.

I don't really know what I am getting at here but that... maybe, just maybe, I need to acknowledge that we all have our little quirks, insecurities and even the different things we are good at for a reason and I just really really REALLY need to start accepting those things about myself.

Yeah, I don't really keep up with the laundry, dishes, stupid spanish homework, dusting, etc.... and yeah, that's probably really bad. But... it's also okay because, that's where I am right now. That's the point I am at. The state of my house, my work place, my lists, my brain is a direct response to how my spiritual and mental life is currently.

Currently? Well, currently I just think these toxic thoughts. I just found out these are toxic and not just normal things or normal OKAY things, but TOXIC. I think, "oh well... maybe this person is ignoring me today. Oh, that's just flipping awesome. Maybe I just suck." Or,  "I bet Aaron just hates being married to me because I am insane and I don't take care of our house or anything really and we probably don't have anything in common and i just suckkkk." Ya know, the norm. But, these things, this comparing I do (and maybe you do) isn't good. It isn't something we should be putting into our minds.

Yes, these thoughts will come, it happens. But, it's what we do with these thoughts once they come.

Somehow, I need to get to the point where I don't think on them more than the second they pop into my head. I hope that I can live my thought life like this: 

 Philippians 4:8-9

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

stop me.. before i chop off all of my hair.

hair inspiration by joannamshipe featuring a haircare

Have you guys heard of Ployvore? Well, you should seriously check it out! My friend uses it a lot and when I started catching on to what it was, I realized I should definitely have one of these as well!

Up top is one of my "creations" on there. Lately I have wanted to chop off my hair and forget about all of my hopes of having long locks! well, Polyvore to the rescue! I decided to make a little inspiration board so I could fawn over beautiful locks and pretend mine are just as pretty... similar to what I do over on Pinterest.

Hope you are all having a lovely week! Lots of things going on in my little life, so I haven't had much time to post.. hoping to get back to it soon!

Oh, did I mention I am taking husband on a lovely weekend away this weekend to celebrate his birthday? CAUSE I AM! be jealous :)