HAPPY THURSDAY!!

random wedding picture that has nothing to do with anything, I just love it.

If you remember, Thursday is one of my favorite days! I still don't know why, but I just love them.

Today was extra special because I found out I won a blog giveaway!! I am pretty excited about it :) go check out Daina and the other gals! They are great!

I hope you all are having a great week. I know that this week as been particularly tough. It has been tough waking up in the mornings and trying to do anything productive after work. I have been feeling pretty sluggish and down right down. Soooo worn out. 

So, I am ready for the weekend. Also, some thanks. Here are my five thanks on thursday for this Thursday :)

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I am trying to come up with some thanks that I normally view as "not so good", but realize I am blessed to have them.

1. I am blessed to have somewhere to live. Although our apartment isn't ideal for us anymore, I am truly thankful to have somewhere to live. I am thankful to have air conditioning and heat, as well as a space heater, etc. I am thankful for a home filled with STUFF, even though it is annoying that it is everywhere sometimes. Aaron and I are still in the process of looking/thinking/praying for a home for us to purchase. After we didn't get a house we put a bid on, we got pretty discouraged. We resenting our current home, and hated it. How selfish. Just learning to be thankful in all circumstances. Many people would kill to have a place to stay even for one night, and we get to LIVE there.

2. I am thankful for clothes. I am thankful that although I have TONS of clothes that I rarely wear, but are somehow thrown all over the house throughout the week, I am thankful I have them. I hope that I can start being more mindful regarding purchases as well as taking time to go through my clothes (and Aaron's!) to be able to give those to someone who may not have many clothes at all.

3. I am thankful for the job I currently have. I complain about being so busy sometimes and how I want to punch my own face in, but I am thankful that I HAVE a job. I have the best boss. He is so understanding when I need time off, and he laughs at how insane I am at work and the weird things I say... so that is awesome. I am grateful that I work in an environment where I feel accepted (for the most part). I am thankful that somehow, someway, this job is preparing me for my future and a job I really hope to have some day!

4. I am thankful for family. I know I have said this thanks before but... I need to keep reminding myself that family is a good thing. Growing up I had some unfortunately things happen within my family. To me, family was just 'there'. Sometimes, family was out to ruin your life. And, still, others, family was there as a support system. Lately, I have really been seeing that my family, although MENTALLY INSANE, and unstable, my family is mine. Those who continue to stay there and support me and my sisters are amazing.. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

5. and finally... I am thankful for today. Although I didn't want to get up today, I am glad I did. I am glad that I came to work. I am thankful for this dang insurance meeting I have to go to. I am thankful I have an OPPORTUNITY for insurance. I am just really blessed.

I have been to 5 other countries serving in mission trips, and various places in the USA. Each time it has reminded me that I have SO SO MUCH. I have been given so much. When I think back on those people who have nothing, but prepared a meal and asked me over, I get this overwhelming feeling that I have TOO MUCH. I need to share it with others. I need to bless others with it. I just... I can't explain it. I hope that you can look at your life and know you are blessed despite your thinking so. And to think it not just during the holiday seasons, but all year round.  

Hopefully these don't bore too many people out there.. just trying to remember for myself, the things I should be thankful for instead of grumbling about them!

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Have a lovely day :) Maybe, just maybe I will be back soon.

this wasn't supposed to be this sort of post!

 

good morning :)

Today my lovely husband gets to sleep in and not work ALL DAY, while I am stuck at work. NO FUN. Too bad my work doesn't celebrate Columbus Day. 

Anywaaaayyyyy...

This weekend was a busy one for us. Actually, all of last week was as well. Time is going by faster and faster. There are not enough minutes in the day. It's starting to take it's toll.

Aaron has started his masters about a month ago in Business and it's surely keeping him very busy on top of being a youth pastor and working full-time at a bank. Poor guy...

I, on the other hand, am working full-time at my job, helping out with Fellowship of Christian Athletes, helping Aaron with youth group and trying to do everything else in between. 

Life is way too busy. 

On top of all of that we have various church/youth events, family things, and try to spend time together. MEANINGFUL time together.

It gets pretty hard. It also doesn't help that I love sleep entirely too much probably so often times I am dead asleep way before Aaron some nights. We also love our tv shows. From "Bones" to "How I Met Your Mother" and everything in between... we love it. We usually do that together because our brains seem too fried to do anything else. And with the changing seasons, I get extra cold and my ears get affected so we REALLY don't want to go outside more than we have to. 

It's life.

It may seem really lame or stupid to you that we do that so much together, but I must say... I agree with you. 

The Bible never really delves into what marriage should look like other than a husband must value his wife like Christ valued the church (that He would die for the church). and the wife must submit to the husband as the church submits to Christ. 

But, then what?

What does it even mean to have a "Godly relationship"? What does studying the Bible together look like? What if one person can't pay attention to the other when that person is reading thus rendering your Bible studying time together meaningless? How is a man to lead his family? What if he wasn't shown how to as a youth? How is a woman supposed to support her husband Biblically when she is really strong headed? How are they to get everything done in a day (i.e. laundry, dishes, dinner, together time, etc.)?

How? 

This isn't really the way this post was supposed to go, but I am going to go with it. Perhaps you all have some insight into this for us? 

Don't get me wrong, our marriage is great. Aaron is my ultimate best friend, my sweetheart, I adore him. And I KNOW beyond anything that he feels the same for me. 

I am basically coming at this from a non-christian unbringing and Aaron coming from a Christian home but not really being taught HOW to lead. It's not shameful to say it's an area where we struggle together as I am sure a lot of newly married (and even longer married) couples face. I am willing to admit where we fall short and where we need Christ to intervene. 

In the Lord's eyes, we are still babies to him. We have so much more to learn. Sometimes I am grateful for that but I also get upset not being able to have these answers for myself. Seasons come and seasons go... and so it is with our relationships with Christ. But, we long for so much more. 

May we never lose sight of that. 

:)

Five Thanks on Thursday

Source: bitsotruth.blogspot.ca via Joanna on Pinterest

Happy THURSDAY! :) We have almost arrived, people!

Ok, so, a LOT of good things going on in my life and heart lately, besides all the blubbering I have been doing on this here part of the internetz. and... I am going to share it with you guys. That quote up above really hit me on the head and reminded me that I truly need to be more grateful for things and express them as well. so, here we go!

1) I am SO thankful for my sweet sweet husband. guys, he is made of GOLD. I cannot express to you the amount of times I have literally mental breakdowns and he is there, helping me during and after the mess of it all. He supports me in literally everything I do and want to do. For instance, I mentioned staying home and being a stay-at-home dog mom and he was all for it. See,  G O L D E N! Last weekend we watched 3 of our niece and nephews. They were a lot of work for me to handle in my mind because I am just not used to kids and kids sort of just overwhelm me sometimes... Aaron was amazing through the entire weekend, and even allowed me some time to just stay at home. Yeah, sure I cleaned, but still.... I LOVED IT. I could go on... but I will save that for another day :)

2) I am thankful for this job I have. Yes, it isn't my dream job by any means, but honestly, my boss is great and I get to work in a Christian environment. It's really awesome. And, it has taught me a lot about myself.

3) I am thankful for the Lord. I am thankful for the work He does in my heart. My heart sucks. I just am really bitter and hateful sometimes. I am pretty selfish and greedy (maybe those go hand in hand?), and I am sometimes very rude and very boastful in a certain setting. The Lord is truly accepting of me at this stage in my life... and He is working with me to help me get from this place to better things. I wish I thanked Him more...

4) I am thankful for friends. Sometimes I feel like I am not a good friend, so it is amazing that I even have friends (read #3 to see why!). I am just grateful for those friends who have stuck through life with me. Even if they are far and few between, they are my friends, my very best friends, and I love them all :)

5) I am thankful for our apartment. We seriously are living in a steal. It has character, lovely wood floors, and it v e r y cheap! I need to be more thankful for it, so here it is. Aaron and I have been house-hunting since probably November 2011, and.... nothing. Any time we are trying to put in an offer or something, someone else has put in an offer or something else happens... We feel as though God is just not ready for us to buy a house. We are trying to PATIENTLY and OBEDIENTLY accept that... but, it sucks sometimes. Instantly when the most recent house-fail happened I couldn't help but think, if God cannot trust us with the small things (keeping our little apartment cleaned and lovely and making it a home...) then WHY oh WHY would he trust us with the big things. So, here we are. We are so grateful we have a place to live. We are learning to appreciate our 'home' and all that it is.

So, there we are! What are YOU thankful for? :)

on almost pooping my pants...

.. from being completely nervous.

YOU SICKOS.


Aaron and I are really being challenged lately. Challenged on stepping out in faith in so many areas of our lives. If I am honest, then... this scares the poop out of me.

I mean, I was literally talking to my boss yesterday and I was discussing one area we are stepping out in faith and I said to him, "I am going to poop my pants from being so scared."

Why would I ever say that?  out loud? to my BOSS?

Anyyyywayyysss....

It's kind of scary stepping out in faith. Trusting something other than ourselves. but, honestly.. I kind of suck at a lot of things. I follow through, mostly.. but I just suck at really stepping up some times.  Enter GOD.

I am very glad that God equips the chosen because.... I kind of freak out a lot. Like, if I am really honest, I haven't started my masters because I am scared. I haven't stepped out in my faith in any real tangible way because I am so scared to mess up. I am scared to not do things in the order they should happen. I am scared to not do everything perfect.

I cannot tell you where exactly this need to do it all "right" came from other than... I am human. I want to be perfect, have perfect things, have the easy way out all the time....

However, here we are. Stepping out in our faith. Expecting God to work.

Oh, also, in expecting God to work doesn't always mean expecting Him to 'come through for you'.... it also means that He could do something completely unexpected.

I hope I can be ready for it either way.

Have a wonderful rest of our Tuesday! I think Aaron and I will be heading to a fair... and, I am unexpectedly REALLY excited for it.

FRIDAY'S LETTERS

Dear migraine: nobody invited you to join me last night and today. so, maybe you should leave?

Dear little debbie brownie: I WILL buy you today, and I will have NO shame eating you. 

Dear twitter: I think I am starting to enjoy using you. I don't even care if nobody follows me, which you may not WANT to even follow me because sometimes I am way too sarcastic for my own good.. but I love it.

Dear husband: you are a gem. I don't know how you have managed to be married to me for over a year, but you are amazing. ah! I could go on forever....

Dear pumpkin: thanks for the snuggles today and yesterday on my sick day

Dear work: you are breezin' on by, and I LOVE it. Thank you!

Dear people banging things around next door: STOP. now.

Dear weekend: I am beyond glad you are here. ready to do NOTHING all weekend. YES!

Dear library books and all my other books: I have been neglecting you, I am sorry :(

Dear all of you: have a lovely weekend :) :) 

TIDS + BITS

Hello there!

Whew, this week has had it's fill of STUFF. And yet, we haven't been up to too much... that's unfortunate. 

 (photos do not follow order of tids below... sorry!)

+Grateful for the Lord working in my life, even when I don't see it or feel it or know it or believe it.... He is.

+Currently we are recouping from having our 4 day weekend... It's always hard to go back to work. But, it was a plus having Monday off :) I am pleasantly surprised when I look at the day and it's a day later than I thought!

+Oh. I cut my bangs. Yeah. By myself... nice. I usually do this, but not really this short... It always helps when I trim them up a bit, and I don't think I have ever really done too bad of a job, but this time...  don't know how I like them. Aaron says he likes them, so that's good since he sees me more than anyone else. 

+Trying to eat better. It really isn't going too badly! I have tons of junk food cravings and I still drink soda of course... but I am trying, I promise!!

+Aaron and I started our first-time homebuyer's classes.. well, we only had one. We were late to it. Aaron was about 75% sure it started at 6:30... it started at 6:00p. But, it was his birthday, so I sided with him and we just cut the difference so in case we were late, we were only 15 minutes late. Talk about embarrassing... plus, it doesn't help that we look like we are, what? 16 years old walking into this class with all these older people. Fun stuff. Our second class was canceled, hoping that it is rescheduled soon. 

+On Pinterest I found a workout that Carrie Underwood supposedly does for her leg workout. I thought, "well, she has pretty great legs... I will do this!!!!" yeah. about that..... it's a pretty simple set of like 5 exercises but I tell you what, it is 2 days later and my but and thighs are killing me. Like, I-got-punched-in-the-muscle-this-really-hurts killing me. So, I'd say it's a pretty good little go-to work out. 

+We leave for vacation in something like 20ish days. YES. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE BEACH.

+Glad the sun is out and has been out. Not glad the relative humidity is something like 928349384%

+I love watermelon. And it's so good for you. YES!

where did the week go?

So.. anyone know where last week went? 

To be honest, I don't remember much about that. I hate that. Sometimes my brain gets pretty foggy, especially when I seem to be working a lot harder at work because the work keeps piling on, or when I have a lot of things going on in the evenings, blah blah blah.

So, I won't bore you anymore with the details I don't remember. I DO know that both Aaron and I took Friday and Monday (today) off to spend some time away from town and celebrate Aaron's 24th birthday! Speaking of which, my husby is 24 TODAY! :) 

On Friday we had a LOT of errands to run: I cleaned out my car (first time in about a year!), the air conditioner guy came by the house to check on it, Aaron had a dentist appointment, I had a trim, I got some new tires on my car and we grabbed some lunch! Whew! Sounds like a ton just thinking about it... 

Well, after all of that, I took Aaron to Columbus for the weekend. We stayed at The Westin in Columbus because I got a sweet deal on Hotwire. We walked around downtown, enjoyed the lovely weather, worked off the huge amounts of food we ate, and caught up on some tv. I took him shopping to pick out his perfect gift at Easton. He chose a watch and we also got him some shoes and such for work which he desperately needed. Altogether, we just spent time hanging out and not worrying about having to work on Monday (we always dread Monday coming, but not today!) I made Aaron breakfast in bed to celebrate his birthday this morning and we have just been playing it pretty low key all day.

Seriously..

I cannot complain about life right now. 

Some other things that have been going on: 

+I for the life of me cannot get on a system of doing laundry, dishes, etc. I think someone should've just handed me a manual when I got married. I would've followed that. But, I cannot just seem to "fit it in" during my days.. I can't even fathom what life will be like with kids. wow.

+ Aaron and I are really trying to commit to eating better. We have been slowly doing so, but now, we have taken the plunge. Besides the occasional chocolate I will eat with my strawberries, weaning myself from mountain dew, and such.. we will be eating more healthy, homecooked meals. I have really been trying to be aware of the ingredients going into my food for probably 6 months at least. We try to eat very simple meals, adding spices etc. here and there... but for the main part, not really buying much processed foods (besides cheese.. I seriously CANNOT cut out the cheese! but I know my tummy hates me for it.. )  I have also noticed that I have always had some sort of a chronic stomach "ache" or hurting. More recently (probably 8 months or so) I have had pain in my hips, knees, ankles, wrists, basically any joints on my body. My back has begun to hurt a lot, and my brain seems to be in a fog a lot.. so, a change in diet is in order!! Eating healthy can never hurt and I am so grateful to have a husband who is willing to do this with me! (more on this in later posts)

 photos: 1//snuggling, 2//she won't get out of the grass, 3//i am an addict, and i am trying to quit, 4//mmm cereal that i am trying to not eat anymore because of the gluten, 5//wendyyyyyyy's, 6//aaron made me breakfast in bed, just because, 7//coral nailpolish. love, 8//clean, healthy fridge, 9//best snack

and... that's about it. honestly. I don't do much aside from work and random things around the house. Sometimes I get a chance to see a lovely friend or two or my family, but not too much going on... Hoping to be less foggy to actually update this :) Tonight and tomorrow night Aaron and I are going to a first-time home buyer's class. Hopefully we learn a lot and we are praying God will provide the perfect first home for us. 

Have a lovely rest of your Monday :)

 

come right out and say it

I just do not know what has been going on this week... I just can't seem to get a grip on things.
My emotions just go from one extreme to the other (and NO, it's not that "time")... my thoughts are holding ME captive, my heart is hurting, my wishes, and hopes and dreams seem to be on standby. I just don't know what's going on...

A friend of mine (seriously, go check her blog out... she is amazing) recently posted on her blog about an app she downloaded on her phone called YouVersion. I have been using that app on my phone for some time, but just seem to have forgotten it's on there or something? Well, anyways.. she mentioned a devotional that she started on it called "Soul Detox".

Then, yesterday, I am just goofing around mindlessly surfing the internet and there it was. A blog specifically there to encourage other believing women of God. Their main thing they have been using? SOUL DETOX on the YouVersion app.  WHATT?

so, I knew... I just knew I had to start it.

and so I did.. and I love it. It doesn't have much of a lengthy text for you to muster through before you get to the nitty gritty: the Bible verses. I didn't look too much into it as I chose a poor time to try to read it... so, that sucks.

but, this morning... something just really stirred my heart and made me really sad for some reason I will never know. something that shouldn't bother me. but... it did. and after that moment it seemed like everything this morning bothered me. taking my adorable dog outside, hearing Aaron singing along to music, Aaron being happy and humming and whistling all morning, and honestly... the list goes on and ON of things that annoyed me about AARON.... and then, it hit me.

I was taking a shower and it came... JOANNA, STOP SUCKING SO BAD! STOP LETTING THOUGHTS TAKE OVER YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Thing happen. People do things. People say things that are hurtful... YOU do things that suck a lot... but it shouldn't take over your entire MIND!...

I couldn't shake it. So... I KNEW I needed to read this devotional today. Something inside of me had to read it.

Here's a bit of what it revealed to me and in me:

Day 2

+To battle against your toxic thoughts, you MUST identify and REJECT them.

+It is not a physical battle, but rather a spiritual batter that requires God's HELP in fighting

+What are some causes of toxic thoughts in your life?

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:1-6  &   Ephesians 6:10-20

From 2 Corinthians 10:1-6 I pick out these verses:

2 Corinthians 10:3 -- For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does

2 Corinthians 10:5 -- We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Did you catch that?? "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ"..... wow. What does that even mean? How do I do that? Sometimes I feel like I know God, but I realize, I just know stuff ABOUT God... this says so itself, "we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God".... that means, I better KNOW God.. so I can discern or judge what isn't OF God.

From Ephesians 6:10-20 I picked out these verses:

Ephesians 6:11 -- Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

Ephesians 6:18 -- And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

 This was just what I needed this morning. Did those things I thought about stop hurting or waging war against my mind and life? No.  But, that's ok... instead, I am guarded with these verses I read this morning. I can't shake them if I wanted to..  He is just that good.