come right out and say it

I just do not know what has been going on this week... I just can't seem to get a grip on things.
My emotions just go from one extreme to the other (and NO, it's not that "time")... my thoughts are holding ME captive, my heart is hurting, my wishes, and hopes and dreams seem to be on standby. I just don't know what's going on...

A friend of mine (seriously, go check her blog out... she is amazing) recently posted on her blog about an app she downloaded on her phone called YouVersion. I have been using that app on my phone for some time, but just seem to have forgotten it's on there or something? Well, anyways.. she mentioned a devotional that she started on it called "Soul Detox".

Then, yesterday, I am just goofing around mindlessly surfing the internet and there it was. A blog specifically there to encourage other believing women of God. Their main thing they have been using? SOUL DETOX on the YouVersion app.  WHATT?

so, I knew... I just knew I had to start it.

and so I did.. and I love it. It doesn't have much of a lengthy text for you to muster through before you get to the nitty gritty: the Bible verses. I didn't look too much into it as I chose a poor time to try to read it... so, that sucks.

but, this morning... something just really stirred my heart and made me really sad for some reason I will never know. something that shouldn't bother me. but... it did. and after that moment it seemed like everything this morning bothered me. taking my adorable dog outside, hearing Aaron singing along to music, Aaron being happy and humming and whistling all morning, and honestly... the list goes on and ON of things that annoyed me about AARON.... and then, it hit me.

I was taking a shower and it came... JOANNA, STOP SUCKING SO BAD! STOP LETTING THOUGHTS TAKE OVER YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Thing happen. People do things. People say things that are hurtful... YOU do things that suck a lot... but it shouldn't take over your entire MIND!...

I couldn't shake it. So... I KNEW I needed to read this devotional today. Something inside of me had to read it.

Here's a bit of what it revealed to me and in me:

Day 2

+To battle against your toxic thoughts, you MUST identify and REJECT them.

+It is not a physical battle, but rather a spiritual batter that requires God's HELP in fighting

+What are some causes of toxic thoughts in your life?

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:1-6  &   Ephesians 6:10-20

From 2 Corinthians 10:1-6 I pick out these verses:

2 Corinthians 10:3 -- For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does

2 Corinthians 10:5 -- We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Did you catch that?? "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ"..... wow. What does that even mean? How do I do that? Sometimes I feel like I know God, but I realize, I just know stuff ABOUT God... this says so itself, "we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God".... that means, I better KNOW God.. so I can discern or judge what isn't OF God.

From Ephesians 6:10-20 I picked out these verses:

Ephesians 6:11 -- Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

Ephesians 6:18 -- And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

 This was just what I needed this morning. Did those things I thought about stop hurting or waging war against my mind and life? No.  But, that's ok... instead, I am guarded with these verses I read this morning. I can't shake them if I wanted to..  He is just that good.