HALLOWEEN EXCITEMENT: i cannot contain myself

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

So, it is 7:23pm on Halloween night. I have been home sick all day. Put on real pants only to go out to get some necessities, and by that I mean: mountain dew and shells and cheese. And then came home and put on jammy pants (that's what Aaron and I call them) for the rest of the day. But, I did brush my teeth, so just in case you were wondering, there's that.

Aaron is currently playing some video game (that sounds funny even typing out...) and I have just been perusing the internetz avoiding things I should probably do like... work on a budget, grocery list, meal plan, pack for the FCA Retreat or type my personal statement essay for my Master's application....

Pumpkin is sitting here patiently watching us, all the while, I KNOW she is dying and wants to play. 

Oh! also? There is a MOUSE. IN. MY KITCHEN. no, we don't have traps. and YES, we should go get them because as my grandma says, "there are probably 20 in there!!! so, that's really encouraging. haha

Life as of lately.... hmm. Not much to report. I applied for a position I would really love to do at my current place of work, but haven't really heard much about it since that was sent in. I have basically given up any hope for it.. oh well. It will all work out how it should, I suppose. The real kicker with it is that I don't feel right just up and leaving my current position. I love working for my boss, so that would be really hard. And we are SO busy with a bunch of projects/items that I am just not sure I could leave until January or so...   WE SHALL SEE. I am really trying to learn to put things into God's hands. After I submitted my application/resume I really sat back and felt like I had given it to God.... But, then I looked at my sent-box on my email every second I could checking if she received it and opened it (I AM WAAAYY CREEPY LIKE THAT.).... so, perhaps this is God just showing me and testing my will and if I really, truly have given it to him.

Aaron has recently gotten a new position (a sort-of promotion if you will) at his work. That is very exciting for us as we could definitely use a little (and I use that term loosely) but more money!!

Things I am currently excited about:

+ Christmas is coming people. We still have Thanksgiving, but IT'S COMING.

+FCA retreat this weekend: there should be a lot of students going. Aaron has never been and it will be great to see him out there, leading, playing sports and just having FUN. 

+Friday is almost here. Enough said. 

annnnnd that's pretty much it for excitement.

Also lately: I have been pretty down about things. Nothing I can really pinpoint.. just down. And it's really hard for me. I think I need something new and exciting to do. Any suggestions?? :) 

This is a pretty boring post. And, the picture at the top has nothing to do with it or Halloween or anything... I just liked it. I do this thing where I look up "dream city houses" on Realtor.com and just put in my price max and how many rooms and SEARCH. Looking at that house up top just keeps inspiring me to do it. I mean, if I am going to life in a mouse infested, freezing old house/apartment, I am going to take advantage of our wifi that costs so dang much and look for places we REALLY could want to live at. 

Well, Aaron just turned around and asked what I was working on... I sheepishly looked at him and said... "my blog..." and he laughed and said we are slackers. He should be working on homework for his master's and I should submit my application for my masters... so, I guess I should get on that.

Welp, later days :)

I AM GOING TO EXPLODE

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I am entirely too busy these days. 

I can't think. 

I can't get things done.

I NEVER remember things that I need done at home.

I don't fold the laundry. It's just sitting in my living room, laid neatly in a pile on the loveseat.

I sit at work and my mind twists and twirls around with things to do FOR. WORK.

I get email after email after EMAIL: Joanna, do this.. Joanna, please do that.... Joanna, HERE'S ANOTHER 50 MORE THINGS TO DO.

I get phone calls requesting the same.

I get the mail twice a day and each time I think I have things done or semi caught up on...

I DON'T. because the mail just comes. and it comes to ruin my life. my entire day. lest, my entire MONTH.

Currently, we have 349359283 projects going on at work. The to-do lists are daunting on top of the other 'daily' or 'weekly' things I need to do.

Did I mention that, oh wait, I am married? And, I am involved in other things outside of work?

WHEW! I guess this is what it means to be grown up. So, fine. But, let me whine about it for a second, please. Let me just let out my frustration at my own mind for not allowing me to remember. 

If you don't, I may just through my computer out the building. I may cut the phone chord. I may shred any evidence that I received any bills to pay this week (month)... And I may just walk out and go home and put on my sweatpants and maybe cry a little bit.

So, please.. let me vent. 

Here are some lovely things on my mind for today. (If this were The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon would be holding a sign reading "SARCASM" behind me as I just said that):

• I have to go to the dentist? again? TODAY?! nice.
• I wish I had more coffee... now.
• Oh, I started drinking coffee.. love it. addicted already. NOT GOOD.
• I am so glad I have mounds of papers surrounding me daily at work. it doesn't make me want to cry in the least
• I really am good at handling stress. But I also just need to cry about it like a little baby
• I have already received 3 emails while writing this. SUCKS. leave me alone people
• sometimes, okay, all the time, people I don't really work for ask me to do things for them because they didn't get the memo that I don't work for them. or that the work they are doing doesn't affect me in the least. I am ALL about helping people.. but it is beginning to interfere with my brain
• Is it Christmas yet?
• Pumpkin Show is next week. so I get 2 days off... which will make it a 5 day weekend. Perhaps I should take Wednesday off too? that would be glorious
• Man.. I should probably finish my grad. school application.. 
• But that means I have to get people so send in recommendations. TOO MUCH PRESSURE
• Oh and that means I also have to track down all those colleges I went to and have them submit transcripts.
• Instead, I think I just won't...
•  What should I have for lunch? oh, chili that I have been eating for days since I made it.. 
• I need a nap already and it's only 11:58a 

Hope you guys have a lovely day NOT thinking about all the stuff 

you need to think about like I am :)

looking upon others will never feed our lives

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Seasons of life are ever changing.
And sometimes? Well, sometimes they can't change fast enough.

I struggle with a deep seeding thing called, ENVY. It's rough, you guys. Sometimes things are gooooood. I am content. I love life. I love my things. I am happy.

Other times? Well... other times, envy rears her head out and screams, "WHY CAN'T I HAVE THIS" "WHY CAN'T I DO THAT"... woe is me.

Sometimes I look around and find myself struggling. I find myself wondering what God had planned to put me in this exact moment... this exact spot. I struggle trying to figure things out.

Those times are also times I try to do things all on my own. I look around and think that IIIIIIIII can get myself there. IIIIIIII can figure these things out.

Well, yeah, I CAN. but, it probably won't come easy.

Those are the times I need to give it to God. Why do we act like that's a 'last resort'? "Well, I guess I will just haaaveee to pray about ittttttt."  That should never be a last resort. It should be the first thing we do.

My head often gets clouded with others. Their thoughts, opinions, lives, etc. I see someone else doing things I should/want to do and envy comes. I ask for advice in so many areas and my head/thoughts get clouded.

Don't get me wrong, it's awesome to seek out our friends and family for advice. In fact, I recommend it. But I also think sometimes we need to seek HIM before anything else. We need to get our minds right by talking to God before we talk to others. After all, He really knows best.

I remember a long time ago (like 6 years ago) hearing the idea that we can't look at someone else's faith journey and think, "how did THEY get there?" "What books did THEY read that helped them?" "That scripture worked to spur them on, I should use it too"

These things are meaningful and purposeful in THAT person's life. We can only focus on our own lives. Our own NOW. Our own journey. Often times we are just beginning and they have already started the race. Or vice versa. We should never assume those things will work for us.

We should challenge ourselves to not look to the blessings of others and compare them to our lives. People always think the grass is greener on the other side... but often times, it's because that person has been watering their side. They have been through struggles, and they are now at a point (a season) where they are accepting of their life or have moved on with God's help.

Life is just one big mystery.

this wasn't supposed to be this sort of post!

 

good morning :)

Today my lovely husband gets to sleep in and not work ALL DAY, while I am stuck at work. NO FUN. Too bad my work doesn't celebrate Columbus Day. 

Anywaaaayyyyy...

This weekend was a busy one for us. Actually, all of last week was as well. Time is going by faster and faster. There are not enough minutes in the day. It's starting to take it's toll.

Aaron has started his masters about a month ago in Business and it's surely keeping him very busy on top of being a youth pastor and working full-time at a bank. Poor guy...

I, on the other hand, am working full-time at my job, helping out with Fellowship of Christian Athletes, helping Aaron with youth group and trying to do everything else in between. 

Life is way too busy. 

On top of all of that we have various church/youth events, family things, and try to spend time together. MEANINGFUL time together.

It gets pretty hard. It also doesn't help that I love sleep entirely too much probably so often times I am dead asleep way before Aaron some nights. We also love our tv shows. From "Bones" to "How I Met Your Mother" and everything in between... we love it. We usually do that together because our brains seem too fried to do anything else. And with the changing seasons, I get extra cold and my ears get affected so we REALLY don't want to go outside more than we have to. 

It's life.

It may seem really lame or stupid to you that we do that so much together, but I must say... I agree with you. 

The Bible never really delves into what marriage should look like other than a husband must value his wife like Christ valued the church (that He would die for the church). and the wife must submit to the husband as the church submits to Christ. 

But, then what?

What does it even mean to have a "Godly relationship"? What does studying the Bible together look like? What if one person can't pay attention to the other when that person is reading thus rendering your Bible studying time together meaningless? How is a man to lead his family? What if he wasn't shown how to as a youth? How is a woman supposed to support her husband Biblically when she is really strong headed? How are they to get everything done in a day (i.e. laundry, dishes, dinner, together time, etc.)?

How? 

This isn't really the way this post was supposed to go, but I am going to go with it. Perhaps you all have some insight into this for us? 

Don't get me wrong, our marriage is great. Aaron is my ultimate best friend, my sweetheart, I adore him. And I KNOW beyond anything that he feels the same for me. 

I am basically coming at this from a non-christian unbringing and Aaron coming from a Christian home but not really being taught HOW to lead. It's not shameful to say it's an area where we struggle together as I am sure a lot of newly married (and even longer married) couples face. I am willing to admit where we fall short and where we need Christ to intervene. 

In the Lord's eyes, we are still babies to him. We have so much more to learn. Sometimes I am grateful for that but I also get upset not being able to have these answers for myself. Seasons come and seasons go... and so it is with our relationships with Christ. But, we long for so much more. 

May we never lose sight of that. 

:)